Self-esteem is our internal reference point, an integral part of the inner-compass which enables us to navigate our way through life. If we hold ourselves in high regard and believe we are valuable, our lives will reflect value and regard to us. Life is on our side. When we are functioning with healthy self-esteem, we tend to embrace an optimistic outlook—our glass becomes half-full, where it may once have seemed half-empty. Such a perspective plays a vital role in creating and maintaining healthy relationships. Yet if our internal reference point, our self-esteem, is set on low, our lives begin to show us a very different view. Reality becomes bleak. Chaos and struggle abound.

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As children we were ‘downloaded’ with a set of beliefs by our caregivers, family and teachers—beliefs which became our operating truths, our consequent reality. Each instance of invalidation was internalized. Every trauma, unkind word and abusive action shaped our developing self-esteem.