Breaking Unhealthy Patterns With A Hypnotherapy
Trauma and the science that can keep you trapped in a trauma even when you want to leave or know it’s not a healthy relationship.
Here are some of the ways you can help to dismantle this intense, abusive connection:
Look for red flags
Do you say things like:
They’re just under pressure; they’ll make it up to me later
It’s my fault – I cause them to be angry
They’re only like that because they love me so much
They’re so sorry afterwards and promise to change
I can’t possibly leave them or live without them
Every relationship is different; you wouldn’t understand
It is common for someone bonded to their abuser to make excuses and protect their abuser. If you notice that you’re making excuses or covering for your partner, it may help to take note of this and reflect on this.
Open Up
It can be so hard, but opening up to loved ones or a professional can help you to see things from a different perspective.
Replace Self-Criticism With Self-Love
Don’t blame yourself. You do deserve better. Every time you catch yourself criticising yourself, think of a positive affirmation you can replace it with.
Stick To The Facts
Keeping a journal of purely factual information can help you to detach emotionally and spot patterns. Don’t let your emotions alter how the situation occurred.
Practise Self-Care
It is common to turn towards the abuser for comfort, instead, look to prioritise yourself and practise self-care to become your source of comfort. This could be a creative hobby, exercising, wild swimming, meditation or anything that brings joy to your life that’s just for you.
Seek Professional Help
From boundary setting to improving self-confidence, professional support such as a therapist can help you better understand the patterns of abuse and the factors contributing to the bond. A therapist can help you devise a self-care plan that addresses self-criticism and low self-worth and supports you in building healthy relationships and making a clean break from the trauma.
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