Fear of Abandonment on Mental Health Complex Phenomenon

A fear of abandonment is a complex phenomenon that can stem from a variety of developmental experiences, including loss or trauma. This fear has been studied from a variety of perspectives.

Theories behind why the fear of abandonment occurs include interruptions in the development of certain cognitive and emotional capacities, challenges with past relationships, and other problematic social and life experiences.

Although it is not an official phobia, the fear of abandonment is arguably one of the most common and most damaging fears of all. People with the fear of abandonment may tend to display behaviours and thought patterns that affect their relationships.

Ultimately, maladaptive coping with this fear can result in the abandonment they dread becoming a reality. Consequently, this fear can be devastating. Understanding fear of abandonment is the first step toward resolving it.

Behaviours and actions in current relationships are all thought to be the result of old fears and learned concepts that take place in childhood. Many theories attempt to understand the fear of abandonment.

Object Constancy

In object relations theory, an offshoot of Freudian analysis, an "object" in one's mind is either a person, a part of a person, or something that somehow symbolizes one or the other. Object constancy is the concept that even when we are not in the physical presence of that person, our experience of them does not fundamentally change.

This is related to the idea of "object permanence" first studied by the developmental psychologist Jean Piaget. Infants learn that objects continue to exist even when they are not experienced directly.

Object constancy generally develops before the age of 3. As children grow and mature, the periods of separation lengthen and are often generated by the child as he, say, goes to school or spends the weekend at a friend's house. A child with good object constancy understands that important relationships are not damaged by time apart.

Archetypes and Mythology

Mythology is filled with stories of abandoned or rejected lovers, primarily women who dedicate their entire selves to their partners only to be left behind when the lover goes off to conquer the world.

Some psychologists, such as Carl Jung, argue that these myths and legends have become part of our collective unconscious. At some primal level, we have internalized certain archetypes and stories and made them part of our shared worldview.

We each have a personal myth as well—one that is not shared with others but resides deep within the core of our beings. According to Jung, this personal myth is made up of our interpretations of the collective unconscious through the filters of our own experiences.

From this perspective, the fear of abandonment is connected to these universal myths but varies in severity according to our memories.