Questions to Ask Your Partner to Take Your Relationship to Next Level

At any point in a romantic partnership, asking the right questions can help you progress your connection and work toward shared goals.

From those early dating days where you’re trying to understand who the other is, to later stages where you’re determining whether the relationship is moving toward a forever commitment, we’re sharing important questions to ask your partner at every stage of your relationship.

Early Relationship

If you’re serious about getting serious, asking key questions is vital in the early stages of dating.

This can help you determine whether you’re aligned on non-negotiables, determine your overall compatibility, and help you figure out whether the person you’re dating is on the same page.

What makes you who you are?

Understanding your partner’s background, motivations, and current passions can help you learn more about them and determine how well your lives fit together.

Ask about their upbringing, favourite way to spend free time, what makes them happy, which people are most important in their life, what makes them unique, what their finances are like, whether they’re working toward any goals, and what their long-term plans are.

As you have these early interactions—and throughout your relationship—make sure you're truly listening. We sometimes have a tendency to think about what we're going to say next versus absorbing what the other's saying and enjoying the conversation in real-time.

What are you looking for in a partner?

It’s also important to know, early on, what the other is looking for in a partner. People’s ideas and preferences are apt to change, but having a clearer picture of what they’re seeking can provide great insight into whether you’re compatible.

Now’s a good time to discuss each other’s personal boundaries so you can respect each other moving forward.

Do we share the same values?

You don’t have to agree on everything in order to enjoy a satisfying relationship. However, it’s important to align on big issues or at least have a plan to work around major differences.

What is your preferred timeline for marriage and children?

If marriage and children are important to you, figuring out a general timeline for these future milestones is imperative. Discussing it relatively early on can help you both save each other time (and avoid resentment) if the other isn’t on the same page.

How will we keep the spark going after dating for years?

Relationships have seasons, and sometimes life can get in the way. That initial spark may not always burn as brightly, so discussing ways to maintain passion between you can help you get ahead of inevitable lows.

How have you changed in recent years?

This question might surprise your partner because it’s possibly one they haven’t considered themselves. However, discussing the ways in which you both evolve can help you stay aware of the other’s goals, preferences, and passions. Science tells us that effective communication can greatly increase relationship satisfaction.

How can I continue showing up for you?

This question does two things. First, it demonstrates that you are still dedicated to being your partner’s best friend and ally. Second, it gives you an opportunity to learn about ways you can genuinely make your partner happier.

What are some ways we can spend more quality time together?

The longer we’re in a committed relationship, the easier it is to fall into the daily flow of life and neglect the romantic aspect of our connection. By sitting down and discussing ways to spend time together, you’ll be much more likely to enjoy consistent quality time.