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Dealing with Co-workers

Managing conflict at work can be challenging, causing stress, anxiety or damaged motivation. At worse, leading to bullying, low mood or even losing a job.

Hence, solving work conflicts quickly is important. Otherwise creating an escalation to the problem. As well as making the problem more difficult to manage.

7 steps for dealing with work conflicts

Causes of the conflict?

What’s making this conflict difficult to resolve? Any of the above? If so seeing things from the other perspective. And what are they wanting to achieve?

Is it personal?

Sometimes a person’s behaviour or personality jar with our own. And this makes it harder to see past this. When personalities clash it can be hard working together. Other times, the problem is harder to define. Due to competing pressures or priorities.


Take time thinking about your issues within the conflict. And ideas for resolution. Arranging a time to meet with the person. If possible, give them time to prepare. Otherwise, they may be feeling threatened or taken off guard. Don’t get defensive. And try discussing the problem positively. In addition, focusing on moving things forward. Such as

“I’m feeling excluded and disrespected when you’re choosing not to invite me to the meeting.”

Asking questions

Asking what’s not working? As well as discussing how to improve working better together. Stop assuming people are doing things just to annoy you. Taking into consideration they may have competing pressures. In short, making inquiries without being accusatory.

“I was wondering why you didn’t invite me to the meeting with Bob?”


Avoid rushing to get a resolution quickly. Or focusing solely on your own point of view.

Moreover, listening carefully is a key step, even if you don’t agree. Asking further questions and responding in a calm manner.

“Is there anything else you’d like to add?”

Finding middle ground

Try focusing on the areas where you do agree or what you both need improving, and go from there.

“It sounds like we both agree that communicating is not our strong point – what can we do to improve that?”

Moving on

Sometimes it’s possible to resolve the conflict alone. But at other times involving managers or HR. Depending on the nature of the situation. Developing a plan for resolution and following through. Checking back regularly. And tweaking if it isn’t working. Communication skills, stress management and resilience all prove valuable in this process.

Further help

Conflicts at work can vary enormously. Therefore, depending on the situation it’s useful getting support. I help clients through coaching to understand the nature of their conflict. In addition, developing an action plan for dealing with their unique situation. Alternatively, using advanced hypnotherapy techniques for assisting people with relaxation, motivation, anger and resilience.


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