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Ego Vs Love

Every heart is sensitive to love’s requirements. Our conscience is love’s voice speaking from within.

We all have an ego. YES, we all do! And we must learn how to control it. If you let your ego go unchecked, it can cause tremendous turmoil in your life — particularly with your closest relationships. Negative feelings, such as anger, resentment, fear and jealousy are all products of the ego.

Inside every human being, two opposing forces battle against one another: love and ego. Each has its agenda, suggestions, and ideas, and they are almost always opposite. It’s up to us to choose which we will allow governing our lives.

Here’s how this battle plays out:

The force of Love.

Love draws us toward the good. It moves us to be kind and sensitive at all times, and it admonishes us when we are unkind or neglectful. It is not manners or upbringing, but the force of love in us that makes us feel so uneasy with being angry, rude, reactive, jumpy, or paranoid.

There are no demands placed on the other because there are no demands. There are no demands because there are no expectations. There are no expectations because the initial over-arching expectation and demand that this other be someone or something that s/he is not — and cannot possibly be — is never part of the equation.

Soulmate Love very basically and simply takes the ego out of play. If we followed our hearts, love would govern our every move, and we’d create beauty wherever we go. The force of Ego. When it comes to egotistical love (the bad kind of love), we turn to our egos to make the decisions, rather than our spirits. The problem with this is that the ego doesn’t have any related skills. Instead, the ego tries to manipulate as a means to give and receive love. To protect ourselves, the ego resorts to resistance, arguing, fighting, sarcasm, put-downs, depression, withdrawal, aggression, frustration, passive-aggressiveness, revenge, disrespectful gestures, intolerance, blame, competition, distrust, resentment and self-doubt The ego’s choices end up becoming the very obstacles to love and our relationships turn into ego battleships. Ego not only fears that loving will result in hurt, but it also fears that if we love too deeply, too happily, we will also abandon the ego concept (of separation and self-protection) altogether. The ego fears its undoing in love. Ego Love is a reflection of the needs, wants, and desires of the lover, not the loved one. It rests upon the mistaken premise that our fulfilment can be found in another, and places the demand on that other than s/he be all the things that we need her to be. It asks her to be something that s/he cannot possibly be — that is, what we want her to be, rather than what or who s/he is. This tack can only lead to disillusionment, disappointment and, ultimately, resentment; the sentiments that, in the end, are the genesis for all those things that will break a relationship.

So what do we do? Remember that you don’t have to be always right. For the egotist, being right all the time is closely associated with feeling worthy. Therefore, those who can’t let go of their egos do and say anything they can to always be right. Unfortunately, this happens at the expense of everything else. The desire to always be right can ruin relationships with co-workers, bosses, siblings, relatives and particularly partners. At some point, you need to realise that the false self-worth that you get from sticking to your guns and “being right” doesn’t outweigh true happiness. It is okay to be wrong. No one is perfect!! Understanding your true self and practising self-awareness will help you realise that you cannot be right in every situation. There will always be situations where you make a wrong call, have a wrong attitude, or you’re simply on the wrong side. Learn to discern these situations, and don’t be afraid to admit that you are wrong. It might be difficult in the beginning, but being able to admit when you’re wrong gives a sense of freedom. Take responsibility for your action and magically the ball will be in your court! Overcome the need to be better than everyone else. An ego out of control leads you to think that you are better than everyone else. That you are superior in every way. Just like remembering that you don’t have to be right all the time, understand that your need to be superior to everyone around you does not have to be. There will always be someone better, prettier, smarter, faster, and wealthier. From childhood to adulthood, this is the reality of things. The sooner you realise that you cannot — and should not feel obligated to — be better than others, the sooner you can mend and improve your relationships. Instead of competing with others in this way, why not think of making yourself better instead? You are beautifully unique — focus on how you can improve yourself, and all your relationships will fall into place. Practice contentment. Just as you can set your mind to being more tolerant and self-aware, you can set your mind to being content with what you have. Having this mindset can help you cover all of the points above. Knowing that you have what you need — and that most other things are superfluous — will help you be more open to what others have to say and understand how they behave. You are fortunate, and you are grateful for it! Ultimately, in any and every given moment, try this: Stop. Take a deep breath. Drop inside and access courage, calm and the purest form of gratitude. Breathe these qualities throughout your being. Then choose your next words, thoughts and actions in alignment and watch how quickly your results — and your relationships — will change.


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