Breaking The Cycle of Trauma
Signs of Relationship Trauma
Ending an abusive relationship is just one step in the process of healing from an unhealthy situation.
Relationship trauma can include feelings of rage and anger toward the abusive partner. In the aftermath, a person may experience distressing thoughts or feelings, cognitive difficulties, and re-experiencing of trauma. Some research suggests lingering psychological, and relational challenges.
Signs of relationship trauma can include:
Flashbacks: Flashbacks are vivid, intrusive thoughts related to a traumatic situation. They can be incredibly distressing and cause a person to feel as if they are reliving an event. These intrusions may be repetitive and unwanted.
Feelings of fear or distress: A person may experience anger, fear, stress, or anxiety in the relationship. This can lead to avoidance of the triggering situation, event, or person.
Guilt and shame: Feelings of guilt and shame can make a person feel isolated from or detached from others. Establishing meaningful relationships may prove complicated, as these emotions may be accompanied by hopelessness, stress, anger, or fear.
Nightmares: Relationship trauma can cause sleep disturbances. A person may struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep. Additionally, frightening or disturbing dreams related to the content of the trauma may occur.
Trust difficulties: Establishing meaningful relationships may prove complicated, as the nature of the abusive relationships can instil mistrust with self and others.
Feelings of suspicion: The violation of emotional, physical, or sexual boundaries that can occur in an abusive relationship can breed deep mistrust in and suspicion of others. As a result, an individual may be hypervigilant of their surroundings and interactions with others.
Abusive and harmful behaviours cause an imbalance of power and equality in a relationship. It also diminishes safety, which creates a persistent fear of experiencing abuse or extreme anxiety about abuse in other relationships.
Some ways in which an abusive partner creates unhealthy and dangerous dynamics include:
Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
Belittling, insulting, or bullying behaviours
Threatening to harm a partner or loved ones
Emotionally and physically isolating a partner from their support system
Limiting a partner's autonomy or ability to make choices for themselves and act with agency
Controlling their finances or other means of being independent
Intimidation with weapons
Destruction of personal property
Keeping a partner from being able to seek help when needed
Gaslighting (manipulating reality to make a partner question themselves)
Stonewalling (not communicating with a partner or giving them the "silent treatment")
Love bombing (attempting to influence a partner through shows of love and affection)
Trauma Bonding
Sometimes in an abusive relationship, trauma can occur. This happens when the partner experiencing abuse feels an attachment to the abusive partner. Feelings of sympathy toward the abusive partner may lead the other to rationalize or justify their behaviour which can perpetuate the cycle of abuse.
How to Heal From Relationship Trauma
Relationship trauma does not develop overnight, so it's important to keep in mind that healing may take some time. Strategies to focus on during the healing process can include:
Cultivating an environment that feels emotionally and physically safe
Identifying and establishing boundaries
Building a support system with trusted individuals
Communicating your needs
Engaging in activities that help you feel calm and safe
Self-care through balanced meals, regular sleep, and movement
Seeking professional help from a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist
Therapy
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) is an integrative psychotherapy approach, designed to treat trauma and alleviate the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Past trauma, like childhood neglect, physical or sexual abuse, violence, accidents, and others can block EMDR works by stimulating the left and the right part of the brain as the eyes follow hand movements, while you recall the distressing memories. To make the experience as non-traumatic as possible, I strive to create a safe, environment where your comfort and mental health are of the utmost priority. When a person recalls a memory, the person can re-experience what they saw, heard, smelt, tasted or felt, by alternating left-right stimulation of the brain with eye movements, patients can stimulate the "frozen" information processing system. During the process, the memories seem to lose their intensity so that the memories are less distressing. These stages include the use of eye movements or other forms of left and right alternating stimulation, along with relaxation exercises, guided visualisations and breathing techniques.What is EMDR therapy used for?
When a person recalls a memory, the person can re-experience what they saw, heard, smelt, tasted or felt, by alternating left-right stimulation of the brain with eye movements, patients can stimulate the "frozen" information processing system. During the process, the memories seem to lose their intensity so that the memories are less distressing. These stages include the use of eye movements or other forms of left and right alternating stimulation, along with relaxation exercises, guided visualisations and breathing techniques.
What is EMDR therapy used for?
One area of this growth is the treatment of anxiety and anxiety-related issues such as panic attacks or phobias. While many anxiety treatments help you deal with the symptoms of anxiety, EMDR therapy can help you address the root cause of your anxiety or fear.
EMDR therapy can also be used to effectively help you deal with depression. Often depression can be a symptom of other problems in your life, and EMDR therapy can help you work through those problems that are adding to your depression.
Some of the important areas that EMDR therapy can be helpful include:
Trauma or PTSD
Anxiety
Chronic pain
Childhood trauma or complex trauma
Unresolved grief
Eating disorders
Treating addictions
Phobias or fears
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