Are You Always The ‘Rescuer’ In Relationships
Helping others is, of course, an admirable quality. But, for those who thrive on the drama of playing the rescuer, it can be extremely detrimental. It can be a damaging dynamic in relationships, for both the rescuer and their partner.
What is the rescuer's personality type?
Someone with the rescuer personality type is driven to help other people, even at the expense of their wellbeing.
What do rescuers thrive on?
People with a rescuer personality type thrive on the stress of drama but also the close connections and bonds created through helping another person. They want to feel needed and essential to another’s wellbeing. The feeling of caring for another person to this extent often replaces something they have been missing themselves or distracts from a larger issue.
What are the signs of a rescuer personality?
Giving more than you take
A sense of self that depends on helping others
A strong desire to ‘fix’ people
Feeling you understand people’s issues and how to resolve them
Low self-esteem
Being drawn to people who need you
A pattern of toxic or destructive relationships
A possible history of abandonment or toxic caretakers such as abusive or alcoholic parents
Tending to become unhealthily obsessed with other people and their troubles
Idealising people in need
A tendency to be overly controlling
Often taking the role of ‘parent’ in a relationship
Partners often become overly dependent
Relationships can become co-dependant
What causes the desire to rescue others?
There are many things which can cause someone to fixate on the need to rescue others over their well-being. Finding the cause of the rescuer syndrome is key in releasing yourself from it. For many people, early childhood experiences can cultivate a strong desire to help people. For others, it can be a reaction to trauma or feelings of low self-worth.
What drives the rescuer's personality?
Rescuers are often driven by the desire to be needed. They seem to give without ever asking for anything in return. Helping others can indeed be beneficial to our health. Many people volunteer or throw themselves into charity work if they feel depressed. It can be a great source of happiness.
Other people may help others as a way of avoiding unhappiness within themselves or because they wish to be rescued. Rescuers want to be rewarded for their efforts. To be loved and appreciated, but because of the type of people, they tend to try and rescue their efforts can go unrewarded.
What can I do to stop rescuing people?
It depends on what’s causing your rescuing behaviour. Do you need to heal your abandonment issues or past trauma? Or take a look at your relationship patterns and learn to thrive in a new type of partnership. Alternatively, you might need to build your self-esteem or find a purpose in life that doesn’t depend so much on the behaviour of others. Take back control of your
health and happiness and rescue the one person you can truly help –yourself.
Hypnotherapy can help with any of the issues outlined above please do get in touch. Sessions can take place in my London hypnotherapy clinic or online.
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