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Effect of Domestic Abuse

Whilst being in a happy relationship is the aim of most human beings, you realize that being in a bad relationship with someone can do so much damage to our sense of worth, self-esteem, and self-respect and can often trigger a multitude of issues. Domestic violence is a pattern that involves violence or other abuse by the abuser and can happen to anyone ranging from a child/children or adults who are in a relationship or have been in a relationship in the past. The abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological, financial or sexual. Abusers are so manipulative using fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under their thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you leaving the victim to the belief that they were somehow to blame.

Here is a list of emotionally abusive behaviours abusers use against their partners:

  • The abuser makes hostile jokes about the habits and faults of women

  • Ignores the victim’s feelings

  • Withholds approval as a form of punishment

  • Yells at the victim

  • Labels the victim with generally insulting terms: crazy, bitch, stupid

  • Repeatedly delivers a series of insults specific to the victim and designed to inflict maximum psychological damage

  • Repeatedly humiliates the victim in front of family members and others

  • Isolates the victim socially, perhaps geographically as well (for example, by moving the family to a remote location)

  • Blames the victim for all the abuser’s troubles and failures

  • Threatens physical violence and retaliation against the victim, children or other family members

  • Puts down the victim’s abilities as a mother, lover, worker, etc

  • Demands all the victim’s attention and resents the children

  • Tells the victim about his sexual affairs

  • Constantly accuses her of having affairs, even when she does not have the desire or freedom to have affairs

  • Gives the victim the “silent treatment”

  • Threatens to abuse the children and/or get custody of them

  • Tells the victim she must stay with him because she needs him and she couldn’t make it without him

  • Accuses the victim of being violent if she acts in any way to protect herself

  • Questions her sense of reality

  • Forces economic dependency: He prevents the victim from working - either by forbidding her to get a job or by making her life so chaotic that she gets fired - and/or he takes her money

  • Puts down or denies the victim’s history, heritage, faith, values

  • Hits the wall, not her, to display his power

  • Breaks personal items that have sentimental value to her as a message that he can break her too

  • Threatens, tortures or kills her/their pets

  • Threatens suicide if the victim doesn’t stay with him or do what he wants

  • Spends hours cleaning guns or knives in front of the victim

  • Threatens to kill her or her children

  • Destroys victim’s self-esteem

Hypnotherapy allows you to feel safe and confident in meeting that challenge in a way that is most effective for you as an individual. Healing past trauma with hypnotherapy does not mean that you have to relive the trauma or abuse again. What hypnotherapy can do is give you a safe environment to focus on resolving the conflict and processing and re-cataloguing your memory so it no longer disturbs you. Clinical hypnosis increases the effectiveness of hypnotherapy which enables unique, specific and positive changes to take place. EMDR therapy can be a very powerful treatment for people who have experienced any traumas. The distinctive technique employed by EMDR practitioners is bilateral stimulation. That means that the brain is activated on the alternating left-right-left sides by various means via the body. This can be by moving the eyes from right to left, by playing a simple sound in alternating ears or by tapping gently on different sides of the body such as on alternate knees, shoulders or hands. This bilateral stimulation is thought to help the brain to process information which has gotten done stuck due to emotional and sensory overload. EMDR is often very effective for trauma.

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